Liza Howard

Liza Howard

Liza Howard is a national champion runner with multiple records in distances ranging from marathons to 100 mile trail races.

May 2017
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I have wrinkles & Lululemon thinks my chest is too small

LizaLiza

Yesterday’s message from the Universe was not ego-boosting.  And I was forced to eat chocolate chip cookie dough until I was too hyperglycemic to form sad thoughts.

A good friend called Wednesday to see if I wanted to do some gear testing for Lululemon.

-Sure.

For a sports bra.

-Sure.

It’s their new high impact sports bra.

-Sounds slightly dangerous, but sure.

You’ll need to run on a treadmill in the store for 30 minutes wearing the bra, but you can keep the bra afterwards and you can keep your shirt on.

-Ummm…..Sure.

I texted the store manager to let him know I was game.  He told me to come down to the store to make sure they had the right size and to sign up for a treadmill time slot on Saturday.   (RIGHT HERE is where I should have asked a question.)

The store is at La Cantera, a swanky outdoor mall.  I’d never been to the Lululemon there, so Ruby and I wandered around for a while trying to find it.  We were wandering slowly enough that a man working at one of the beauty stores was able to engage us in conversation.  I don’t know how, but he managed to get me to sit down, so he could apply eye cream under my right eye.

“This will make you look ten years younger.  What do you think about looking 10 years younger?!?”

“I’m actually fine with looking my age.”  Scowl.

He looked deflated.

Ruby and I wandered on.  When we finally make it to Lululemon, Ruby was ready to wreak  havoc, so I was brief with the sales girl.

“Doing that sports bra treadmill testing thing.  I’m here to get the bra.”

She looked at me and paused.  “So they’re sized like bras….What’s your cup size?”

“Oh ‘A,’ or maybe ‘AA.’  Is that a size?  Haha.”

“Ah, I’m going to have to go look in the back.”

She was gone a very long time.  I tried to keep Ruby from knocking down mannequins wearing pricey spandex.  When she came back, she spoke quickly.

“So we don’t stock your size.  We don’t carry ‘As’ or ‘Bs.’  We’ve asked them to send us some samples for…, but they won’t arrive until next week.  It’s a high impact bra and…”

I nodded.  She started complimenting Ruby profusely.  I hurried out the door and took a circuitous route to the car to avoid the fountain-of-youth lotion guy.

Now, I mostly think about my appearance in terms of running performance, and I don’t give much thought to my wrinkling skin. Every now and again I’m surprised by the eye wrinkles and the slight neck wattle, but no particularly negative thoughts follow the surprise.  And I made my peace with boob size ages ago.

All that said, I was feeling a bit sensitive as I drove my messy minivan back to my messy house.  I called Eliot and told him he probably should be very nice to me when he got home.  And then I ate the cookie dough.  It was very good — and I think I might have fewer wrinkles and bigger boobs this morning.  😉

Running: 30 minutes easy.

 

Comments 9
  • Jeff Umbaugh
    Posted on

    Jeff Umbaugh Jeff Umbaugh

    Reply Author

    … I’m guessing no one you dealt with that day ever signed up for a 100 mile run or marches across deserts in their free time… and universal truth is that strength is damn good looking… …so Point, Set, Match to Liza Howard.


    • Liza
      Posted on

      Liza Liza

      Reply Author

      You are the best! 🙂


  • Pommers
    Posted on

    Pommers Pommers

    Reply Author

    You’re perfect as you are Liza and we all love you!
    If there’s a next time, less restraint with Ruby and the mannequins! 😉


    • Liza
      Posted on

      Liza Liza

      Reply Author

      I will take pictures of the destruction! How goes the Leadville training? And thank you for the kindness. 🙂


      • Pommers
        Posted on

        Pommers Pommers

        Reply Author

        Oh Liza, unfortunately I didn’t get a place this year. Managed to get a Spartathlon place a month later though. Current training mode is ‘panicking’…


        • Liza
          Posted on

          Liza Liza

          Reply Author

          Well, there goes a lot of motivation to get up there to cheer. I’ll be ready for some virtual cheering at Spartathlon. I’m hoping to do that next year, so I’ll be waiting for your race report! 🙂


  • Zaw
    Posted on

    Zaw Zaw

    Reply Author

    Pay no mind to those sales people! They’re everywhere! Once I got this salesgirl that convinced me I had very bad dark circle under my eyes. Instead of saying “go to hell”, I don’t know why I sat down let her apply some cream. They are trained to make you feel bad!


    • Liza
      Posted on

      Liza Liza

      Reply Author

      “How to Make Customers Feel Badly About Themselves: A Step-by-Step Guide.” Thanks so much for the kind words!