Liza Howard. Ultrarunning Mom.

Ultrarunning Mom

Grand Suckle Slam! (no TM)

So I’ve been following Nick Clark and Ian Sharman’s amazing Grand Slam exploits — because that’s what you do when your belly is too big for your back and you can’t run.  I’ve also followed the Grand Slam TM drama.

And then I was e-mailing a couple of friends tonight and thinking about how it was going to be challenging to run a PR at Rocky this year when I won’t be able to really start training hard until November — and I’ll need to stop to nurse during the race.

And then it all came together.  I need to start the Grand Slam of Breastfeeding.  Breastfeeding Grand Slam?  The Grand Suckle Slam!!

So according to the page on Stan Jensen’s website the “Grand Slam of Ultrarunning™ award is recognition for those who complete four of the oldest 100 mile trail runs in the U.S. The “Slam” consists of officially finishing the Western States 100 Mile Endurance Run, the Vermont 100 Mile Endurance Run, the Leadville Trail 100 Mile Run and the Wasatch Front 100 Mile Endurance Run all in the same year.”

Here’s what I’m thinking for the Suckle Slam.

Rocky, Umstead, Badwater, and Leadville.  Rocky because I have a PR to settle there.  Umstead because I’ve always wanted to run it, and if I don’t settle the PR score at Rocky, I might be able to do it at Umstead.  Badwater because that’s the ultra you eventually run when you find yourself living in a place like San Antonio, Texas and it’s still hitting 100 degrees in September.  And Leadville because they rolled my entry to 2014 when I told them I’d be 8-months pregnant in 2013 and I’m frugal.

Now I didn’t actually get into Umstead today despite trying to register 700 times, but they do have a few spots reserved for a few women who think they can run under 17 hours, so I’m going to see if I can still still get in under that speedy clause.  I’ll also tempt them with the opportunity of becoming involved in the Suckle Slam.  And it does seem like Badwater slammers should have to use a breast pump — so as not to endanger tiny babies in the desert.

I’m still open to suggestions about which races to include — maybe just ones that are easy to get into like Rocky with aid stations that are close together — with rocking chairs.
Now, onto important details.  ”In order to be eligible for the award and official recognition, registration must be received by June 26, 2013. Registration fee is $80 (which covers finishers awards).”
So we’ll need a prize too… A “booby prize” so to speak.  (That was Eliot’s suggestion.)  And here I am even more open to suggestions.  I’m envisioning something either tacky…  Could this be bronzed?
Screen shot 2013-09-07 at 9.37.58 PM
Or this?
Screen shot 2013-09-07 at 10.02.59 PM
(The Bobby not the baby.)
Or it could be something useful and appropriate.  Baby jogger?  And I’ll see if Lanolin will fund the trophies, so we won’t have to have an $80 fee.
I would like to require Suckle Slammers to send me a note of intention, so I could keep track of “everybody.”  And do all sorts of story-writing, race interviews, and tweeting — along with some hilarious, but tasteful pictures.

And if all this falls through, I’ll just start a FKBFT website.

  • http://funwithgravity.blogspot.com/ mtnrunner2

    Lol. Just don’t infringe on the trademark of “Grand Suckle Slam Incorporated”.

    Once they are breastfed, each runner’s infant should also be required to crawl 50 yards from each aid station, otherwise it’s a DNC (did not crawl). It’s never too early to start training.

    • lizahoward

      I like it. And if they’re tiny, we can require some sort of rolling action.

  • olga

    Now we need all to quickly collect pregnant ladies and make them agree to run 100 milers! Yeah, that’d be easy!

    • lizahoward

      There do seem to be a few pregnant ultrarunners out there right now. But point taken, maybe we should include 50s in the rankings.

      • olga

        We also might try and persuade some 100M-loving to run ladies to quickly become pregnant! Don’t look at me, I am past that time:)

  • Shannon

    I like that one of the races is in Utah, with the woman to child ratio here we should have some takers. You could have an entire new sub sport starting!

  • Tonje Elisabeth Aarøe

    Hehe! Love the idea :)